My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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