The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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