The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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