i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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