I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
