Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
