The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
