Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
