booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
