The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
