yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize