so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
