Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
