NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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