so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
