All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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