Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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