I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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