I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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