hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
