I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
