dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
