I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
