I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
