So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
