I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
