He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
