I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
