dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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