it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
