Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
