I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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