No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize