you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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