We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
