no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
