I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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