as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize