she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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