Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
