it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
