Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
what day is it and did you see me today?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
