you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
