At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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