Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
