i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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