I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
