You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Let's get the cat blown out
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
