The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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