went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
