I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
