before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
