jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
