just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
