K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
