i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
