Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
