I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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