i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
