i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
