He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
