If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
